97. The Moon

The queen entered the dim lit room and made her way to the table. It was in a disarray, papers thrown everywhere and dust covering everything, but she didn't care. For a long time she had wanted to go there, and wasn't about to complain.
She sat on a dusty chair and crossed her legs, looking around. The room was empty except for the table and two chairs and surely no one had gone there for a long time. It did not matter, though. It was exactly what she had been looking for, as untidy as it may be.
She ran her finger over the edge of the wooden table. Outside it was a beautiful day, sunny and warm, but there it was cold and dark. She shivered and finally decided to light the candle she had brought with her.
The light projected long shadows of her and the little furniture present in the room. It was a peaceful sight for her. She shuffled through the papers, which were mostly bills and reports. The room had once been a lawyer's officer and all the documents were somewhat related to the Law.
She started to look in the drawers, curious. There were writing materials, more documents and forms, a few books related to the previous owner's profession and some random junk. The last drawer was locked, but she had the key - it was in the same chain as the one that opened the door.
There was nothing in the drawer, though. She figured there must have been once a weapon there, a gun of some kind, since that was the usual, but it was gone. No matter. She hadn't come to that room to find anything important. Only to be there and bask in the forgotten memories of the lawyer.
He hadn't been her lover. Nothing of the sort, actually. He had only been a friend, not a very close one, but a true one. She had known that all along, but she had never tried to get closer to him. She was afraid.
She was always afraid.
She liked being a queen because of that. She was protected at all times. Even if she wasn't a real queen and just a make-believe one, a dream queen, she was still guarded day and night by faithful employees and it made her feel safe. Even when she was inside there alone, the little building and room were surrounded by guards. No one would be able to harm her.
But there was no protection when it came to emotional matters. There she was alone, and that's why she had never got closer to the lawyer (or anyone else, for that matter). She might have fallen in love once or twice if she had allowed herself, and maybe even got married, but she couldn't let it happen.
Over the years she had carefully built a heavy fortress around her heart, that no one was able to tear down. The only time she would open its door were when something like this happened - when someone who she could have been close to died. Then she opened the door and cried for hours, huge tears of regret and sorrow. After that she'd close the door again and go on with life, like nothing had happened.
But this time, it wasn't happening. The door seemed to be blocked and there was no way she could open it. No tears fell for the lawyer. She eventually gave up and went home again to her make-believe palace.
She found someone on the way, a gentleman she knew quite well but whose name she could never remember. He greeted her, warmly, and invited her to tea. She accepted, of course, because it would be rude not to.
They found a pleasant coffee shop, sat outside and ordered the finest tea. The sun was beginning to set and the gentleman suggested that they stopped by near the beach to watch it. She agreed and they finished their delicious tea and left.
She felt uncomfortable. It was always hard for her to socialize, no matter how many times she'd train it. But there was something else. The fact that she had not cried was hurting her. She couldn't forget the dust covered office.
The gentleman took her arm and led her to a wonderful spot, with beautiful benches and a view to the sea. The sat down, watching the sun slowly set and she clutched the man's arm.
The face of her lawyer friend popped into her mind and suddenly the tears were there, falling from her eyes without a pause. The gentleman pulled her closer and hugged her and there she stood, crying her deceased friend in the arms of a man whose name she was unable to recall, while the sun gave way to the moon.